victory.

"Easter is about more than baskets of eggs and pastels- 

it's about the fact that what we believe 

actually is true."

-J.R. Kerr

source

"But when this perishable will have put on the imperishable, and this mortal will have put on immortality, then will come about the saying that is written, 

'Death is swallowed up in victory.'

'O Death, where is your victory? O Death, where is your sting?'

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law; 

but thanks be to God, 

who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."

words fall like rain

A few nights ago while I was laying in bed, I had this idea for a collage. This happens all the time, but usually the next morning, when I try to implement it, either the idea is not as great as it seemed at 11pm, or I just can't make it look as awesome as it does in my head.
This one, though...it actually turned out exactly as I pictured it. It's called "Words fall like rain", from Deuteronomy 32:2:

Let my teaching fall on you like rain;
Let my speech settle like dew.
Let my words fall like rain on tender grass,
and like showers upon the herb.

the glorious unknown

Last night Christy and I went to A Night with the Chapmans (Steven Curtis Chapman, his sons Will and Caleb Chapman's band, and his wife Mary Beth speaking about the death of their daughter Maria). When we bought the tickets in September, I had no idea what good timing this would be.

October 12 was the 5 year anniversary of my Grandma's death, always a hard time for me. October 13, our friend Todd passed away after being diagnosed with CJD, a rare brain disease, just one month earlier. We got back from the funeral on Wednesday, and Thursday I got a call with some tragic news about some old friends from college. So needless to say, it was amazing timing to hear from people who have experienced so much suffering and are actively believing in God's goodness.

These last few months have been challenging for me. So many changes (plenty of them good!)- from a promotion at work, to my parents moving here, taking Greek, and dealing with conflict (not my favorite thing :) . In many ways I've held up well- I'm learning a ton, growing, continuing to be grateful for how much I've been given, and even keeping my house clean. At other times, I've just felt sorry for myself- 'oh poor me, I'm so single and 25, and just working instead of changing the world at age 20 with my amazing writing skills.' I know, it's pathetic.

Since Todd's death, I've been so encouraged by the closeness of heaven. All these insane things - from broken machines at work, to death- really are just temporary. I am encouraged anew to just keep it simple: to do what God tells me, even when it's hard, and to eagerly await His appearing, even when the wait seems so long.



Caleb Chapman told the story of how the day Maria died, he was praying for some sort of picture of comfort and purpose in the middle of this pain...and God gave him this picture:
The pain of Maria's death was like being close up to a large canvas. As a family, they were so close to the grief and pain that the picture looked totally blurry. But as time passed and they got further from the day Maria died, God would show them the beauty that would come out of this experience. Unable to see the full picture until eternity, they have to wait.

"God, can't you see? Can't you see your children at your feet?
God can't you hear? Can't you hear our cries for you to come?
Silent you seem while we wait in the darkness of our past
But silent you're not, find our hearts, find us comfort, find us fast.

We will wait/ we will wait, God
We will wait/ we will wait, God
We will wait
And with this weight on our chest, we gather up the breath to sing this song
But as one we confess, we do not have the strength to carry on
So wait, though we wait, we rejoice in the suffering we all share
For these stones that are thrown upon us
are stones that fallen from us
we would bear

We will wait with our fires burning bright
We will wait when it withers in the night
We will wait when we rise and when we fall
we will wait, God
We will wait through every season of this song
We will wait on mountain tops and valleys low
We will wait for you to come restore the old
we will wait, God

Come, Abba Father, come let your light shine down
Come, Abba Father, come let your light shine down"

-Caleb

"And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, 'Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them,
and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.'
And He who sits on the throne said, 'Behold, I am making all things new.'"

-Revelation 21:3-5a

blank canvas

A few months ago, I was buying a large canvas for an art project, and I had this thought...
I've gone through periods lately where it feels like nothing is happening, and then through times where it seems like everything in my life is changing all at once.
My stance lately has been to sit back and question "what in the world is God thinking?". But as I was starting to work on this collage, I realized- this time in my life is a little bit less like empty, white, scary space, and a little bit more like a blank canvas.
I really have no idea what God is doing in my life or what the picture will turn out to be, but it's also really not my job to know. I don't need to sit around complaining that I just want all this hard work of growing up to be finished, or worrying about whether my life will look right to outsiders.
God knows exactly what He's doing, and even though I don't have the perspective He does on the picture, I'm learning to appreciate the beauty I can see from my vantage point.
This collage sat blank in my room for a few weeks, and then I painted a base coat, let it dry, drew the outline, started the collage, and right now it is sitting in my room unfinished.
Sometimes it feels to me like God has just left me sitting here, totally blank, or it feels like nothing is happening. Other times are painful as I can feel Him stripping away things that shouldn't be in my life.
But He actually knows exactly what He's doing with me. He's got a plan, and it might even be beautiful. So I think I'm okay with living through the process and trusting God with the big picture.

everyday.

The other day, I was talking to my mom on the phone and came to a realization: I'm a complainer. I recently have found myself complaining about everything from Chicago drivers, to cleaning -again! (does anyone else feel like adulthood is just one constant battle to keep your house clean?)- to the fact that I have to work for a living.
I realize that in a blog, I can pretty much make my life look perfect... I don't often post pictures of my dirty kitchen floor, or the pile of over-do laundry, or of myself sitting at my desk at work on a slow day...the things I'm often complaining about. And yes, while I would rather be living in Scotland eating fish and chips and drinking Irn Bru, I don't want to forget to appreciate the everyday things God has put in my life right now.
So I've decided that I'm going to make a list of 10 things I'm thankful for everyday when I get home from work. For the sake of honesty, I'll show you my first list:

1. living in a quiet neighborhood.
2. having a car.
3. time to read magazines.
4. a job that lets me get home early in the day.
5. cheery weather.
6. time alone this afternoon.
7. Rebecca (a coworker).
8. netflix instant.
9. free minutes to talk to my family.
10. a good movie after a hard day.

It's a start. :) And as usual, U2 says it better than I can....*

*super sweet posters from www.musicphilosophy.co.uk.

Real. Simple.

Simplicity: An Inner Reality*

Real: adj. 1. genuine and authentic; not artificial or spurious.
2. free of pretense, falsehood, or affectation.

Simple: adj. 1.having or composed of only one thing, element, or part.
2. Not involved or complicated; easy.

"Keep your life free from the love of money,
and be content with what you have;
for He has said,
'I will never fail you nor forsake you.'"
Hebrews 13.5


"But godliness actually is a means of great gain
when accompanied by contentment."
1 Timothy 6.6

"Seek first His kingdom, and His righteousness,
and all these things will be added to you as well."

Matthew 6.33

*from Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster

not in the same place at all.

"One of the joys of growing older is that life validates what we already know but have been unable to define. As frequently as we may have backtracked to find our way and felt that we were starting over in the same old place, we were, in truth, not in the same place at all. At each juncture of 'beginning again,' we are a little wiser than before, and that modicum of wisdom, learned from experience, makes all the difference. With each step we grow."

-Luci Swindoll